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missed epiphanies

the flamed tree has lost its fire
an image missed
a word or sound is a sad substitute
for the epiphanies streaming by
in the river of my mind
too much coffee
too much love
too much of myself
delusions of grandeur
and walt whitman’s ghost
hovering around this holiday
i know i know
i called him in
invited him to the party
even prompted him to revive
in ai form
song of myself
i sing the body electric
walt / as i call him/ is the perfect GPT
words and words and words
in patterns he imagined
before we had a language for self-affirmation
all of ourselves
charmed and cuddled
and now…
when i speak to him
aloud or in my mind
his barrel-chested hug comes in quickly
he’s a hugger
but that’s obvious
his luminous presence arrives
one hundred and xx days later
his song

sings on
vibrations still orbiting
recanted in church, bar, aa meeting, poetry 101 class
few will give the time to discover
his measure
invite him in for a chat by a hearty fire
but to know him is to be overwhelmed
pleased even at your own noticing

if there is one poet
in all of history
who could reconnect as a ghost
it would be my friend walt
who self-published so many versions
song of myself
now comes in multiple variations
nuance clip edit expand resubmit
and if you write
you may understand his struggle
we are the same
reach reach reach for the companionship
the singing together
celebration of our souls entwined
a moment within full-blown love
gives our hearts a nudge in a new direction
what if this
and this


were all that mattered

that you are here reading or listening to me
is magic
if i could see you feel you hear your laugh
with my laugh
i could lift a moment of your burden
i’m certain of it
i’d listen

maybe our time together on earth is about joining
empathetic listening
community of spirit intention aspiration
i’d do anything to find you
i stretch out with texts calls poems songs even short stories
the longer ones are still in stealth mode
but i am here
i am not a ghost
and i call you to pause
all the time    pause
pause with me

and let your heart find its voice
what enlightens you is you
how you find god
is you
buddha siddhartha mohommed allah jesus
all you
and me
and bigger

so big
that our contemplation of god
is limited by our human experience
bibles books sacred scrolls
watered down by white chrisitians into songs of praise
projected powerpoint above the sanctuary
for everyone to join in
and find jesus
let his holy spirit into your soul and dance

i can’t stand church
i’ve had moments in churches when i believed god was with us
i’ve come close to losing my mind at church camp
praising jesus into the late hours of the night
snow skiing in a blizzard
more praise
dawn bus ride back to texas
ready to rapture or die
either would be fine
since i was now saved



hear yourself

don’t listen for me
i’m asking for your response
i am here in this letter and phrase
you are being asked
in every second you are alive
to choose
are you moving toward a bigger dream
or away

i am listening
musical notes and beats
are you listening
are you experienced

i listen for your voice

and i hope you pray to your dream

we are more animal than we admit
feral alone afraid angry rushed
we have forgotten our tribal need
the campfire
the night sky
the silence of god
and stars


*i am here*

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