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faster kindness faster love

 

when it is good
the words are like a river
racing through my mind
ideas words sounds memories images
when it is faster
my regular life tasks get deprioritized
faster still
my hyper-focus is irritated by every single pause
traffic jam soul-crushing
cars everywhere blocking my way
destroying my average
rate of return

today
i fire retro rockets
meditate
watch my sleep
ingest only known organics
inhale pause count to five release

my serenity is hard won
second cup always decaf
the injustice of exhaustion my sworn enemy
sleep is the new gold
coffee is a stabilizing chemical
in moderation
dispelling depression
inviting flights of imagination and cheer
except when it doesn’t work
drugs often reach a “poop out” point
the prozac stops prozacing
a bag of sample boxes from the dr
offer hope but little optimism
“how do we know this is a good idea”
“trust me, i’m the doctor”
got rid of that one

if you are gifted with a mind on fire
the responsibility is yours alone
care teams treatment plans programs and meds
all help
but the self-rescuing princess inside
is your only hope

that and love
love can alter the world
break your heart
let you down
crush
you

let me assure you
however
love is the answer
love those around you
store clerk, repairman, gas station jockey
kind love is “hello, how’s your day”
extend your joyous reach with every word from your mouth
“what is getting you excited at the moment”
and know this
as you comfort encourage and nurture others
your heart is the real recipient
it is easier to support another
than to love yourself fully
with that knowledge
the steps to freedom are clear

loving-kindness
always
and more

*i am here*

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