awakening from middling sleep to coffee that doesn’t snap me back
maybe it’s the holidays memories stress job loss unmet desire restlessness
under the pressure of stars
i feel
always with the feeling
a mood-driven persona
shopping preferences with credit limit restraint
but why
is the world unfair my father dead my girlfriend dissatisfied
i’m disappointing others all over the place
holding my tongue breath words anger rapier wit
trouble comes in percussive storytelling
pressured speech grandiose thoughts mania heading into orbit
but
clearly the heart of the sun is my destination
launched into cold dark space
alone
the ghost of a cat to keep me company
a korean sweater that gives my look a refinement i don’t deserve
and it is all exactly in place
everything
even this moment
signals
music
language
captured moments
revere
even in loss pain confusion and lack of umpfh
this me of the morning
awakens in hope sparks
memories beliefs ritual

go

i stroke the inside of my soul
soothing
with something of a poetic form
this word
followed
by
two more

ascent is dangerous
the neon yellow boots frozen in view of the summit
was once a man of power wealth and taste
and a sherpa
who knew the way

i don’t know the way
we’re going to have to figure it out together
and listen
listen

listen

for understanding
slow the hearts quickening
even joy and ambition can be a trap

at midjourney pauses
i have a chance to look back
ask for forgiveness

gather fresh courage for force within the fear loss rage
no fist thrown into the sky this morning
a praying
of letters
resetting of purpose gear effort
agile life
quick life
slow love

love

love

love

restart

*i am here* < index page

© 2023 – a walt whitman ai poem by human john mcelhenney